Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Reality is a Type of Junk

A Reality is a Type of Junk
An irreverent poem by Patrick Wong

A blue is a type of color
But indigo blue is fuller
The school district comes first
The location defines your thirst

Everyone knows men are from Venus
For a car is a type of penis
A true fighter is a type of dreamless
A truth is a type of senseless

A clique is a type of condom
A helpful stranger is a type of random
A beer is a type of teddy bear
An attention span is something to fear

An apple is a type of drug
An abortion is a type of plug
A public transport is a type of slug
An understanding is a type of thug

A boundary keeps out the love
A black man is a type of stove
A hoodie is a type of punk
A reality is a type of junk

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Highlights of a Youtube Dive

A Youtube Dive is when I (Patrick) just start clicking on the "Related Videos" a lot. There's this dude from South Philadelphia who uses as low of a production value as possible:

Ghetto Prophecy

Hard to be Positive



Sunday, April 8, 2012

Masaaki Oshima

This dude just followed me on Twitter out of the blue and he's a painter

I guess he's a bit semi-abstract - he takes real things and then twists them around so that they're somewhat abstract.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Writing Event, Part 6

A girl who can turn into butterflies

She fell into water and almost died, but a butterfly landed on the water and she flew out. She now apears to those who have great burde3ns.

She went to the city and burned everything down. She ate all of the women + children because they were tasty. She became a legend and they made a movie about her.

This movie was a hit. She made the big time - She was nominated for best actress. Even though she almost died and people and written her off, she was nominated for an Oscar and she was the talk of the town again.

Then she found out that she was in trouble. She went away into a new place to plan what she had to do and that is to prove that she has a good heart.

The Writing Event, Part 5

A (Persia) name who sees only black + white.

Persia got up to see the sun rise. The last time she saw the sun was over 300 years ago. She did remember having one too many drinks. But why was the sky now green at 6am in the morning.

She decided to ask dale, because he knows that kind of thing. But dale just talked about cans and never answered Persia's question. Maybe he drank too much as well.

Persia got really upset and punched Dale on the nose. Dale wa strong mechanic and whacked him back! Then suddenly, Persia could see color!!!

Elf designed this video to be called the "Fighters who drink too much!" It became a hit in his toystore!

And suddenly the fabric of space and time ripped open as something horrible went wrong with one of Tony's experiments at a facility 5 miles away from where Elf was. In the blink of an eye, Elf is pulled into a realm where he must rescue a princess named Melda from evil Danan. Elf has no weapons except his battery-operated toyz. Elf then decids to make a sword made from the feathers of one of his peacock toys and equip it with 20 servos. Anyone who is hit by this sword is helplessly tickled to peeing in their pants which is exactly what happened to Danan, who was standing near the 3rd rail of the BART.

The End, of Danan, at least.

The Writing Event, Part 4

The man went to the sun and came back.

He is a sheep herder and when shepherding came to a space ship. He round up his sheep and made the sheep go in. It was a big ship. One of the sheep accidentally stepped on something to activate the ship and up they went. It was an exciting ride, and quite stinky, because of the sheep.

He became very lonely in his spaceship and wished for a companion. A mysterious girl appeared. He tried to get close, but she jumped into the sun and turned into a swarm of butterflies. He watched the butterflies fly past his cockpit window.

He said to hell with the butterflies and blew fire at them from his mouth. Then he turned to the sheep, remembered how much they stunk up his spaceship, and ate them all. He barbecued each sheep in a different style before he ate them.

After he barbequed each sheep, he held a sheep, he held a sheep in each hand and raised them high above his head in victory. "I am not defeated, I am not defeated!" he exclaimed. "Bring 'em on, keep bringing 'em on!"

The Writing Event, Part 3

A short leprechon picking four leaf clovers found a pot of gold. He ran to the creek and fell into a time warp. Next, he found himself falling in a tunnel. He hit the ground. Dazed and confused...

He saw a girl dressed in a beautiful gown with a pair of glass slippers. She is heading to the palace to meet her prince. She needs to be back to her home by 12 o'clock midnight.

The problem was the whole world was upside down. The prince was travelling by unicorn but since everything was upside down he fell up and into space. There he began seeing debris from days gone by. First bell bottoms then poodle skirts and then derby hats. Curiously there seemed to be a girl tossing all these items out of a very deep drunk. It was like she was looking for something to eat.

She was presented with an award for making a mess of everything. And Dale was there to accept it in her absence, because she had suddenly taken ill after swallowing a gold brick. Dale's acceptance speach was cut off by the music.

The Writing Event, Part 2

He breaths fire & stomp on cities

He like eating Japanese people. Seems like a hothead but cold-blooded.

He would perform for the Japanese people, in fact, people all over the world. He gobbled up one opponent after the other. He breathed fire; he was on fire.

This kid tried to save the city by planting a small plant in the middle of the city, but an evil man who has company tried to stop him or kill him.

Suddenly, the bad guy started floating into the sky.
"Whaaa? What's happening?"
"Stop your evil deeds!" said Luke Skywalker.
"How did I not see you before?" said the evil man.
Luke was wearing a shirt saying "I'm Huge in Japan" and holding a camera. And indeed, he was huge, at 6 feet 2 inches, he towered over the gaggle of Japanese fan girls who followed him where he went.

Fire rained down on the group, as Godzilla breathed firey death onto the group.
"I'll save you, Japanese fangirls!" yelled Luke, as he withdrew his lightsaber.
"Pshhhhhh" went the lightsaber, as it lit up in a green glow.
Luke jumped at Gozilla, hacking at his head.
Pop! went Godzilla's head.
"Pzzzzz..." went Luke's lightsaber again as he sliced through the bad guy's hand, chopping off the arms that were holding the chainsaw attacking the city's trees.
"Yay!!" yelled the Japanese fangirls.
"Ruke Skywarker, you have saved Japan!"

The Writing Event, Part 1

A washed up fighter

He one was a big time wrestler - young, famous, made a lot of money - he was on fire. Time passed and he got injured and was old and forgotten.

He has a lot of friends including a grove of fish, squirrels, and birds that lived in the forest. There a man who decided to cut the trees.

The washed up fighter was stumbling drunk into the forest one day, kicking at the trees. He got into a fight with the Lorax, the guardian of the trees. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Luke Skywalker fell from the sky, breaking up the fight.
"Come on, guys!" said Luke, "I know you guys are both good. I will teach you the ways of the Force."
"To you, old glorious fighter, you will be able to fight once again with the Force on your side, fight for the greather good."
"And for you, Lorax, you will be able to harness the power of the Force to save your precious trees from destruction."
The Lorax and the fighter looked at each other, stunned. "That sounds like a great idea!" they yelled. "Teach us the ways of the Force."

Bubba realized he was taking the wrong medication. He figured out why he was cutting in and out of reality, and hallucinating. He decides to forget the suit and instead buy an aloha shirt.

P.S. Philip *please* put up the Last Words of Jesus art!